Saturday, December 25, 2010

DOA

You know the expression "beating a dead horse"? I feel like I'm giving the horse mouth-to-mouth, the whole time thinking that maybe the next breath will be that one...and how am I ever going to know if I don't try just one more last breath? This is a living breathing THING, this is something I once loved and hope to love forever.  I know I should give up and I know I look like the biggest idiot on the planet flailing and wishing and working as hard as I do to keep it just on the verge of alive....Someone needs to put ME out of my misery.  Someone call it.  Tell me the time of death and tell me its ok to let it die, because its no good loving something that doesn't love you back enough to breathe.

2 comments:

Jenna said...

<3

The Westbrooks said...

Sometimes, the hardest thing is letting go. It's almost easier to have a huge blow-out fight, because then at least you're left feeling angry. I'm sorry for you, and know that I can't provide any consolation other than this: other have made it through similar situations, you will survive.

The only thing you can control is your own behavior-so try to find a shimmer of silver among all the crap. Good Luck.