Bawl My Freaking Eyes Out

Seriously.  Every time.

inspiration and revelation

Side Note: This one has been in my "drafts" since November.

In talking about finding my husband, my patriarchal blessing it says: 

"The Lord will bless you with Inspiration and revelation to know the person whom you should marry."  

I recieved my blessing when I was 13.  I never notices that there were two words there...I always glazed over it wanting to go to the sentence where it actually SAYS we will get married. (which it doesn't, by the way, it just says that I'll meet him and I'll know its right and he'll be worthy to take me to the temple...some say that is splitting hairs to which I reply "do you even KNOW me at all?")  In any rate, I was in the temple doing baptisms a while ago and it hit me that there are two words here.  It also hit me that the Lord wouldn't put two words in there that mean the same thing.  If there are two words, they mean TWO SEPERATE CONCEPTS.  Being in the temple, I had no internet or dictionary to work with, but I did have something much better- a room full of awesome people feeling spiritual highs.  I asked the guy next to me...I can't remember who it was...but I asked him: "Hey, do you know the difference between inspiration and revelation?"  "Yeah" he said, "Um...well...I know they're different..." and then he did something that had me feeling a serious "no DUH" moment.  He turned to a member of the temple presidency who happened in on our session an asked HIM the question.

The Presidency member looked at me puzzled.  I explained to him that the phrase is used in my patriarchal blessing and I was just trying to understand it better.  He smiled at me and explained, and his explanation totally revamped how I saw my blessing.  I'd always thought that sentence meant that I'd know who I should marry through the holy spirit..but again, it straight up says that a little later so why is it phrased this way?  Because inspiration and revelation are two totally different things.  This is how it was explained to me:  Revelation is the feeling, the knowledge that is given to you through prayer or fasting or by straight up divine intervention.  But INSPIRATION is the feeling that makes you want to DO SOMETHING with it.  I receive revelation that the prophet is a man of God, and therefore I am inspired to listen to what he says and then actually do it.  An artist receives a mental picture in their head-what they want to do, and the feeling that follows is their inspiration, the drive to actually put it to paper and make it happen because they know what they want.  Inspiration makes you do something.

I didn't press the man in the temple any further, as it took him explaining it a few ways for me to fully grasp it (I can be dense sometimes), but my next question was going to be: "How does this fit into context with my finding a husband?" "How can I be inspired to know whom I should marry?"  Unfortunately I still have no answer- my best guess is that I will be inspired to do things that I wouldn't normally do, that knowing I should marry him will be enough to motivate me to work for it.  That I won't just KNOW and then get discouraged or let it slip away when it starts getting hard.  That I wont do what I always do when I have a goal or a thought and just decide it's not practical and that I should let it go.  That Heavenly Father will bless me with gumption when I have nothing left to give.  That He'll make me a fighter.  Or this could all just be romantic babble that will come back to haunt me/kick me in the butt later. Does anyone else have some insight I'm not seeing? Am I totally missing the point here?

Unfortunately there is only one way to find out...

Milestone #8: 250 Days Left

...yup...

Not much else to say about that but I felt like it needed to be commemorated.

<3