Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Now a month and a half since the last letter, maybe I shouldn't send it at all and make the brownies myself...
Mean people suck. "I hear fat whores are cheap in Cypress"..."At least I'm not 350 pounds and waiting for a boy that probably wont even want me in 2 years." If I weren't trying to be more Christ-like....that boy would have been emotionally scarred for life. Instead I have to take it, and stew, and cry that maybe he is right. (not about the 350 pounds, I happen to KNOW for a fact that I am not 350 pounds).
Friday, January 15, 2010
Do NOT look up his ex girlfriends on Facebook...especially if they are about 293847298374298374923874 times hotter than you.
Ugh. What a day ruiner.
The more time goes on since he left, the more I am entirely convinced that the year we were together was a giant fluke. He is amazing and I am ridiculously lacking... How could he stand to be with me for over a year? Now he is out there getting even MORE amazing and I'm still sitting here.
A few days before he left I jokingly said "Its ok, I know you are just going on a mission so that you can break up with me." I think I may not have been joking so much as wanting him to prove me wrong...instead he was just slightly insulted and logically pointed out that even the worst relationship on earth would be easier than serving a mission...thanks...haha.
I'm all full of icky feelings again, I haven't gotten a letter in a month now and I'm so worried that he might not want to hear from me at all. I must purge myself of these before I have another emotional breakdown, those are so inconvenient.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Time is a funny thing. We are either waiting on it to pass, trying desperately to hang on to what has come and gone, or trying to slow down the inevitable. I am simultaneously doing all of these things for different aspects of my life, and I do not think that mine is a singular experience. While I am grateful for the time I have been given, as I have a lot to accomplish, I would rather hit the fast forward button sometimes. However, other times I would rather go back and the rewind button would be the most attractive. I want more time, but I would like to be able to pick and choose where that time would go.
I look at pictures from last Christmas and New Year's time and I can't believe it has been a year already, it all seems like it just happened, and that it happened forever ago.Sometimes I can't believe this last year has even really happened. It is all so surreal: finishing up classes, wisdom teeth, cancer, and kidney stones. Travels, goals, and learning discipline. Crushing, dating, falling in love, staying in love, saying good bye to love so that other people can have the chance to feel the amazing powers of the gospel...and SO many tears...how could all that have happened already? Now here we are, at a screeching halt. Waiting. Waiting for interviews, for exercise to take its effect, for paperwork, for doctors appointments, for every precious letter, for dreams to come true, for good days to come, and for the hard days to pass. My Patriarchal Blessing says specifically that I must be patient, so I'll be patient.
Monday, January 4, 2010
If anyone is not familiar with HowStuffWorks.com you should make yourself familiar with it. That website is the most entertaining thing on the whole internets and it isn't even a time-sucker because you are LEARNING INTERESTING STUFF! I realize that statement makes me a ridiculously annoying nerd, but it is true.
The best part is the "Stuff You Missed In History Class" Podcast HERE. I am in the throws of an all out addiction. I downloaded like 80 of them and have been listening to them
off and on non stop for the past week. They recommend books on the subjects you are interested and tell you, as you would expect, the stuff your history class never told you. Genius. Give me more please. I have learned tons in a very little amount of time. I wish I had this podcast when I took my AP history exam.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
In Biggest News:
Christmas came, it was wonderful. ESPECIALLY THE PART WHERE I GOT ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY MY PLANE TICKET TO EUROPE!!!! Yup, thats right everyone, I am on my way! Last week I almost completely emptied my bank account and bought myself plane tickets. On May 25th at 7:50 at night I fly out to London switch planes, and head to Glasgow! I will meet Marisa there and we will have an exceptional 2 weeks gallivanting through the UK and eventually hit Paris. It will be astounding, superb, and all those other words that mean "effing awesome". Now I just need to save up the money to pay for lodgings and food and other necessities like transport and souvenirs. I'm actually not that worried about it because now the heat is on, I have to save up the money.
In other important, but not as fun/exciting news:
Still waiting on word from...well ANYONE about getting an internship, I sent in a bunch of applications right before Christmas but I still haven't gotten any feedback. I am absolutely terrified that I won't be able to find a place to take me, I wanted to already be started by now! So please, everyone, pray for my internship and by extension my entire academic future....PLEASE!
In Jordan news: